What Matters
by appledown
Summary: 7.22 Missing scene


A/N: Just another take on what I'm sure will be one of many missing scenes from the finale _Bon Voyage_.

I can't believe it's over. It hardly feels real. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Words were surprisingly absent from Lorelai's mind as she pulled back from Luke's lips, her own eyes probably about as wide as his were currently. The sounds from the party several yards away began to edge their way back into her consciousness as she attempted to focus on breathing normally once again. She wasn't sure kissing him was the right thing to do in this situation but the fact that it was done was obvious and if she hadn't managed to come up with that time machine to fix the numerous and monstrous mistakes she'd made this past last year of her life, one probably wasn't coming now. She realized that she didn't want it to. The feel of his lips against hers again after so long an absence had never felt so right and her body practically tingled in response to being pressed up against his, his arms holding her to him. She didn't know how she possibly could have thought she was over this man. If she lived a thousand years, she didn't think it would be long enough. She stared up at him, holding her breath just slightly, hoping and praying he wasn't just seconds from pushing her away in disgust. Relief flooded through her, making her almost dizzy with the rush, when she saw his lips curl up just slightly. He reached up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear and she shivered slightly at his touch.

"Cold?" he asked her with concerned, suddenly realizing they were standing out in the cool, rain filled air.

She shook her head. "Not even the slightest," she whispered. The grinned at one another a moment before he started to loosen his hold from around her waist.

"No, don't. Not yet," she pleaded, pulling him back to her and he obliged momentarily, reveling in the feeling of this woman back in his arms after all this time. She laid her head against his shoulder and they stood together, swaying slightly. Even with all that had transpired in the last year, Luke marveled at how none of it suddenly seemed to matter. Not with her back in his arms like she belonged.

Looking around at the party going on ahead of them, surprised they hadn't been spotted yet, he grabbed Lorelai's hand. "Come on."

She followed behind him silently, gripping his hand tight, as he led her into the diner and closed the door behind her. They stood side by side, hands still clasped, as she looked around at the place she once considered her second home. "God I missed this place."

He looked at her somewhat strangely. "You've been in here countless times in the last few weeks."

Lorleai smiled at him and took a few steps towards the counter. She sat down on one of the stools and leaned back with her arms spread out along the counter. She had a smile that felt as if it would split her face in two and she couldn't stop staring at Luke.

"I know," she said finally. "But it was filled with awkwardness and it was uncomfortable and I had to take a deep breath pretty much every time I walked through the door. It was scary. I miss just being at home here, storming in here, begging you coffee in my adorable yet insufferable ways," she paused to grin knowingly at him as he looked down at his feet, his hands shoved deep into his back pockets. He couldn't help the soft smile that formed.

She continued, her smile faltering slightly. "I was worried I was pushing some unspoken boundaries between us or bothering you. I missed knowing that you wanted me here just as much as I did. It's been getting easier, yes, but there was still a little knot I guess in my stomach every time I came near."

Luke wasn't sure how best to respond so he didn't at first and took a moment to collect his thoughts. Eventually, he took the few steps toward her and she sat up tall on the stool, her hands coming to her a fold in her lap as she looked at him in anticipation. He sat down next to her and took a deep breath.

"You know, I'm not good at saying this stuff so just…bear with me here." He looked up at her to ensure he had her attention. "Lorelai, you don't have to be afraid of coming in here. To be truthful, I've wished every day you'd waltz back in those doors again, even if it would have only hurt more to see you, it's all I wanted. Even when you were mar…even with everything that's happened, I just missed you. I eventually stopped expecting it and I told myself I didn't care but still…damn, I'm not saying this right!" He stood up and paced in frustration, his thoughts jumbled in pieces with none of them coming together correctly.

"Luke," she said quietly, her eyes moist as she reached for his hand and pulled him back to her. "You said it fine. I'll admit, I have no idea why you'd even still want me after…everything, but I'm so grateful and happy and I think I won't question it. At least not right at this moment anyway. And I never stopped loving you. I tried to bury it and pretend I didn't but I meant it with the song. I will always love you, even if it was only from afar." She shrugged slightly. "I want you to be happy."

"You make me happy," he said, squeezing her hand. "Sometimes I don't know why — you have this amazing ability to annoy a person at times - but you truly do." He softened his words with a sly smile, showing her he was only teasing.

"Hey now! Be nice — I'm losing my kid tomorrow. Have some pity." She grinned at him, letting him also know she got the joke. She leaned forward and he met her halfway and they kissed once more, this one soft and slow, luxuriating in the feelings of being close to one another again. Eventually, she pulled away and looked at him, her eyes filled with sudden sadness, her voice tinged with regret. "I'm so sorry, Luke."

"Don't," he said, placing his finger softly across her lips. "It doesn't matter now."

"No, Luke," she admonished, brushing off his hand. "It does matter. It matters more now than ever."

He shook his head. "Not right now it doesn't." He stood up, pulling her up to him. "Right now, there are more important matters to deal with and they are right out there." He motioned to the party going on outside and watched as a sad smile formed on her face as she slowly walked to the window. He came up silently behind her and Lorelai found herself without thought leaning back into Luke's sturdy form as his arms snaked around her waist to hold her tightly to him. He rested his cheek against the crown of her head and the two stood together silently in the darkened diner as they both watched as Rory wove her way through the crowd, giving hugs and smiles to everyone she saw. They laughed as they saw Morey and Babette reach out and yank her onto the dance floor with them.

"Poor Rory," Lorelai said, chuckling.

"I don't know, she looks like she's having a good time."

"Yeah," she agreed. "She really does. I'm glad."

She turned in Luke's arms so that they were face to face and stared up at him somewhat solemnly. "Thank you again. For all of this. I can't even begin to tell you how much this means to me."

"You don't have to tell me, Lorelai," Luke said. "I already know."

She caressed his cheek lightly with her fingertips, grateful for his words before continuing with her own. "And I know you said nothing matters right now but that girl out there and I thank you for that even more but we really should talk about…"

"Shhh," he said, leaning down to shut her up the only way he had ever been successful. "We will. Just not tonight. Soon."

She nodded, repeating against his lips, "Soon."

"Oh," Luke said suddenly, pulling away and digging into his pocket. He pulled out a slim, rectangular box and with a little awkwardness, handed it to her. She looked at him curiously.

"Another present for Rory?" she asked, fingering the box.

"No, not for Rory," he said, looking down at his feet.

"Oh," she said, not sure what to say. She slowly and carefully opened the box and gasped slightly at the delicate piece of jewelry lying there. "Luke, it's beautiful."

"Liz made it," he said quickly. "We thought it looked like you so I figured, well, that you should have it."

"Thank you," she whispered, her hands trembling slightly as she pulled it from the box. She bit her lip slightly as she looked up at him. She held it out. "Will you put it on me?"

He took it from her with a grateful smile, a part of him afraid even now she'd refuse it, tell him this all was a big mistake and take off running. But instead she simply turned around and lifted up her hair so that he could clasp the ends together. He smoothed her hair back down into place and rested his hands gently on the tops of her shoulders.

"You should get back out there," he said quietly into her ear. "Enjoy the party. People will start going home soon."

"God," she whispered, her throat suddenly clogged with tears again as she wandered back over to the window. "I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye tomorrow. I mean, logically I know I will see her again, talk to her all the time so it's not like she's joining some crazy pirate ship, off to live on the ocean or some thing.

"But once she leaves tomorrow, she's not really my little girl anymore, you know? She won't need me for anything. She'll be making her own money. Have her own place to live that will eventually one day become more home to her than my house. Doesn't need me to protect her from the big, bad scary world. And she'll get married and have kids and she'll be protecting _them_ from the scary world. Not to mention, I'll see her even less then than I do now!

"Oh God, this is happening too fast. Way too fast. I expected more time. Why is it so soon, Luke? How can it be tomorrow already?" Lorelai cried, whirling around to face him. Her voice was filled with sudden panic as she wrapped her arms around herself, her knuckles white as she gripped her arms tightly.

"Hey," he said, grabbing for her hand. "That kid out there will always need you. Maybe not for the small insignificant things like clothes and food but she will need you in all the ways that count the most. She needs your friendship, your confidence and your strength, now more than ever. You'll see. You couldn't shake that kid even if you wanted to."

Lorelai's tears were falling full force but she managed to hold in the sobs as she nodded and gripped Luke's hand tight in hers.

"You'll both be fine."

"Yeah," she said, wiping her tears with the edge of her sleeve. "I know. But my heart still feels like its crumbling. Is it right that a mother needs her kid more than her kid needs her mother? From the day she was born, she has saved me in every possible way. I can't imagine what would have happened to me if I had not become her mother. She's always been my safety net in a way. God, how selfish is that? A mother shouldn't need her kid more than her kid needs her. That's a lot to put on a kid, don't you think?"

Luke shrugged with a small smile. "I don't know. I think she handled it pretty well."

"Maybe," she whispered, staring back out of the window through her tears, trying to find the courage to head back out there with nothing but a smile. "I guess everyone at some point needs to learn to stand on their own somehow. No safety nets to catch them. I guess this is my time. Way past time actually."

"Yeah, probably," Luke replied, taking her hand in his once again as he eyed the festivities outside. They were quiet again as they became lost in their own thoughts.

"Well, I guess this is it," Lorelai said finally, giving his hand a squeeze. "Can't delay the inevitable any longer. I don't want to miss out on my last few hours with her."

"No, you don't," he said. "Go on, enjoy the party."

"You're not coming?" she asked with a frown.

"I'll be there — just gonna finish up in here real quick. Won't take but a few minutes. Oh, if you want, I thought I'd open up in the morning early if you want to bring her by on the way to the airport. You could have one last breakfast together, just the two of you."

"Thanks, that sounds great. She'll really love that." They smiled warmly at one another and she fingered her necklace absently. "So I'll see you out there?"

He nodded, motioning for her to go on. As she stepped through the door, he called her name and she looked back over her shoulder.

"You know, safety nets aren't bad things really. I think we all need something, or maybe someone, there waiting to catch us when we fall." Lorelai felt the implication of his words more than heard them and they left her speechless once again. She simply smiled and nodded.

The door shut behind her, the bells jingling joyfully despite the somewhat somber mood. Luke walked behind the counter and stood in silence, his hands braced against the counter top as he tried to wrap his head around the events of the last half hour or so before heading out to join in the chaos outside. To say his mind was reeling was an understatement. He felt like he needed a minute to adjust to the fact that his world suddenly looked whole again. He appeared to have the one woman that had ever truly meant the world to him back in arms again. It was a lot to take in, especially after all this time. He wasn't entirely sure what the future would hold but for the first time in well over a year, everything looked like clear sailing ahead. He felt sure that he could handle the actions of the past and they'd find a way to overcome them. Because he knew one thing for certain — he didn't want to spend another minute without her. It just wasn't worth it.

The bells jingled again and he jerked his head up in surprise to find her standing in the doorway with a wide smile, her eyes shining brightly.

"Tomorrow? The breakfast?" He nodded. "Just so you know, it's not just 'the two of us,'" she said, echoing his earlier statement. "It stopped being just the two of us the second you came into our lives. Remember that, no matter what happens. Ok?"

She looked at him with such sincerity and her face and voice were filled with so much emotion that it left him breathless. Taking a deep breath, he nodded once and said the only thing he could think of to say.

"Ok."

_Fin_


End file.
